Blog
December 2024
The Imapct of this Practice
After suffering from occasional anxiety attacks throughout my life, I fell into an eighteen-month period of constant and severe anxiety. The fear and terror were prolonged and intense, and there seemed no end in sight. I didn’t know how to go about finding the kind of help I needed. I was desperate for relief.
As I paid attention to what was happening in my mind and body, I saw two similar patterns beginning to emerge:
- A situation or comment would trigger an anxious thought, which would, in turn, trigger a physical sensation of fear and dread. The dread sensation would feed the anxious thought, which would then grow and spiral on for hours, days, and sometimes weeks–until it exhausted itself or another anxious thought took its place.
- I would detect a slight sensation of pain forming in the center of my chest. This would grow into an intense physical sensation of fear, which would trigger a random anxious thought. The thought would grow and spiral for hours, days, and sometimes weeks.
My entire life was impacted. I was having difficulty sleeping and found myself crying frequently due to the emotional strain. More seriously, I was experiencing unwanted suicidal thoughts and almost took myself to the emergency room multiple times. I thought I was going mad.
The thing that became very clear to me throughout all of this was that my thought patterns had become highly fearful and toxic, and I had to do something to claw my way out of the nightmare.
I began an experiment. Each day, I would write out my anxious thoughts. I would look at what I had written and then flip it–recreating each thought by writing out its opposite.
I carried my daily list of positive thoughts with me and revisited and read them frequently. They functioned in some ways as affirmations, but affirmations that were personally tailored to me and my life experience.
Miraculously, the first day I did this, I felt some relief.
As time passed, I realized that it was becoming easier to automatically flip fearful thoughts on their head and replace them with better-feeling thoughts. I also found that after some time, I could choose to detach from thoughts and experience life with more presence in the moment and without judgment or opinion. I started to take my power back and regain optimism and peace. My creativity, sense of adventure, and love of life were rekindled. I was gaining my life back.
Anxiety will still flare up from time to time, but it is generally short-lived as I practice retraining my mind to pay attention to what I am thinking and to replace unconscious, fearful thinking habits with conscious, intentional, optimistic, and more peaceful thoughts.
These results have been so impactful to me that I developed this practice into a simple daily journal to help others. I hope it will be as life-changing for you as it has been for me.
November 2024
My personal journey with anxiety
My personal journey with anxiety culminated in a crisis. The fear became so crippling that my life and sense of wellbeing came to an abrupt standstill. I lost all confidence, imagined terrifying situations everywhere, developed phobias, couldn’t function in relationships, gained weight, and suffered from joint pain. I frequently felt trapped, suicidal, and unable to cope. To pull myself out of this dark place, I turned to writing and created my first guided journal: The Conscious Creator’s Notebook.
After immersing myself in this journal practice for a while, I realized that I was starting to emerge from the confusion and despair. I began to develop a genuine understanding of how my personal thought patterns and self-talk had become highly toxic. It was the lens through which I was viewing the world. This realization was the turning point.
As I found my mental health improving I realized that I was ready to take the next step. It was clear that if I was the source of the misery, self-hatred, and fear I was experiencing, then I also had the power to become a source of joy, gratitude, confidence, and love. I began to focus on uncovering the self-love and self-compassion that had been buried under years of toxic thought patterns. I started to seek evidence of beauty, peace, and freedom in my life–and so the Evidence of Joy Journal was created.
I invite you to join me on the journey.
October 2024
Why I Published The Conscious Creator’s Notebook
The Conscious Creator’s Notebook is more than just a journal—it’s a daily practice designed to support mental health, transform unconscious thinking patterns, and help you reach your goals.
Ideal for anyone on a journey of self-care looking to improve mental health, overcome anxiety and stay emotionally grounded.
Available now on Amazon in paperback and hardcover
I designed this journal during my own battle with severe anxiety and speak about this in the book’s introduction.
We all deserve less anxiety and more joy in our lives. Sometimes we need a little help to get there.